Always drink upstream from the herd. says: Hey hey Stud!

Jeremy says:hello espher

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:How are you? At work?

Jeremy says:i'm fine and yes I am at work how are you?

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:I'm stressed... getting married in 5 days...

Jeremy says: I bet you are stressed, I know I would be

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:I've got cold feet like you wouldn't believe! It's like they are trapped in a big chunk of ice! I've seriously thought of hitchiking 200 miles back to my moms house while he was at work

Jeremy says:yeah, I can only imagine what that feels like. i have no insight to offer you

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:And I suppose I'm so scared because I'm like 3/4 lesbian. I don't understand men, I don't like men, they piss me off all to hell. And I don't want him to suffer with me... I'm a nag, I'm a bitch, I hate myself! LOL...

Jeremy says:whatever

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:Yeah... really... I hate his friends because they are all perverts. They were trying to get him to get strippers for the Bachelor Party(and I HATE strippers and porn, believe it or not).

Jeremy says:I think you just need to relax. everything will turn out the way it should

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:-le sigh- And I'm stuck here in a dorm, where I can't leave because I'm not supposed to be here. I don't know where we're getting married, I don't know how many people are coming... I got my dress for $8 though!

Jeremy says:you don't know where your getting married?

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:No... I'm in freaking (town blanked out for safety of Espher and Sean)... it's a really small po-dunk town. I don't know what parks there are here. I'm living 10 miles from (town) on base, where I have to stay in a small 10x10 dorm.... I don't know what places there are here. I made a new friend though, Starla, she's helping me a lot. And get this! There are no good resturants here! We're eating at Pizza Hut after the cermony!!

Jeremy says: How long have you been planning this wedding?

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:LOL.... not very long. About a month.

Jeremy says:is that how long you have been engaged?

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:No... we've been engaged for about two months, I'm assuming.

Jeremy says:assuming? you shouldn't have to assume, you should just know these things

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:Yeah... well, we have been dating since May 29th(my birthday)

Jeremy says:how long have you known this guy?

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:Since my birthday -le blush- But we really REALLY get along, and we really love eachother. It's a little strange... My birthday is JFK's birthday, and his is JFK's death day...

Jeremy says: that is strange but that doesn't mean you need to get married after only knowing each other for less than 3 months

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:I wish Krystal got on a little more... I know... we really love eachother... and we make eachother happy. I was engaged before to a guy named Sid... We knew eachother for three years and he really hurt me... It made me realize that no matter how long you're with a person, you'll never fully know them. Y'know?

Jeremy says:That is true with some people but not all people

Always drink upstream from the herd. says: Yeah... No one has treated me as well as Sean. No one has loved me as much as Sean... not even I love myself 10% of what he loves me... Well... not even 0% really. But I feel like he can get better... I mean, I get uber-jealous when I hear about his past sexual experiences. I get pissed when I find out something bad in the past about him... I'm just no good for him I'm no good for anyone, even myself. And I have Borderline so bad that I cut myself sometimes... but hey! I dont want to get you in trouble at work so if you cant chat, just lemme know.

Jeremy says:I just had a phone call so I actually had to do work. As long as I do work when there's work to do, I won't get in trouble. but you need to have more self confidence and please don't cut yourself ever. for any reason

Always drink upstream from the herd. says: It doesn't happen often... only when I bottle things up and need a release... it feels good. It's not suicide attempts, please understand. I haven't tried that in a long while... It's hard to explaine really... I explaine it best after cutting. http://banefulangel.diaryland.com/040808_90.html That will explain.

Jeremy says:I will never understand how anyone cutting their self is any type of release

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:Some people just don't understand... perhaps I'm just fucked up, no?

Jeremy says:unique. and I know there are a lot of other people out there that do similar things. everybody has something

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:LOL... that's a nicer term. It really bothers Sean that I cut myself too...

Jeremy says:you should strongly consider quitting that habit. anyways, I'm done with work. I'm gonna go home now, talk to ya later.

Always drink upstream from the herd. says:Buhbye!

Jeremy says:bye



Conversation between an old friend from Minnesota and myself. How I miss my friends from Minnesota. I can't wait to go back to visit... but I doubt that'll ever happen. I don't know why I put this convo in my journal, just felt it had some importance...